Ok, Boys and Girls

This, from an article in the NYT:

Catalyst’s research is often an exploration of why, 30 years after women entered the work force in large numbers, the default mental image of a leader is still male. Most recent is the report titled “Damned if You Do, Doomed if You Don’t,” which surveyed 1,231 senior executives from the United States and Europe. It found that women who act in ways that are consistent with gender stereotypes — defined as focusing “on work relationships” and expressing “concern for other people’s perspectives” — are considered less competent. But if they act in ways that are seen as more “male” — like “act assertively, focus on work task, display ambition” — they are seen as “too tough” and “unfeminine.”
Women can’t win.

I find this to be true, even in teaching. Male teachers don't seem to be held to the same standards as women teachers. I see it in my school. For the no-pay jobs that teachers are often asked to do, especially those which require relationships to be formed or nurtured, or social functions to be managed, the men volunteer less often and are often not asked. Even inside a group of teachers looking for additional help with a particular project, it's the names of women that are most often brought up as those to call upon.

Recently, in a school program I'm working on, this remark was made by a male teacher about a female assistant principal in our school:
"*** has no business doing the job of assistant principal. She was good at mothering the ninth graders in her job as ninth grade dean, but she doesn't have what it takes to be a principal."
This was said without any hesitation on the part of the jerk who said it.

What's more, in my experience students also view men teachers differently. Men have fewer problems with classroom management. You don't often hear a male teacher mention having to have "the talk" with a class about disrespecting the teacher. It's not that kids in their classrooms never show disrespect, but when it does happen, a word or two tends to bring things under control. Generally speaking, when a male teacher talks tough, kids listen. You might hear kids refer to a male teacher as being "strict," but "bitch" or any similar derogatory label attributed to someone in authority is usually not attached.

I don't hear much about male students having issues with male authority, but it's commonplace to hear that a difficult boy can't take direction from female teachers. Often times, when a pattern of misbehavior from a student, male or female, in a woman's classroom is discussed among teachers (and these things are discussed, come on, we're human and need to vent like people in any other profession), the male teachers in the conversation say they've seen few of the same behaviors from the same student. They might agree that the student is quiet and surly, or doesn't do his or her work, but usually not the outright disrespect that women teachers experience. Once, when I called a student on some bullying behavior in the media center at school, the student looked at me and said, "Go away, you're not my teacher." I'd bet a year's salary this wouldn't have happened had I been male.

I've seen male teachers tease kids in a way that a woman teacher would be called to task for- by the student and the administration. Men seem to be able to get away with making a student feel embarrassed about bad behavior, whereas a woman teacher saying something similar would have the student in her face, and if administration was called in to mediate, the female teacher would be reprimanded for this kind of teasing. Now this is only from my personal observations, but I don't think a man would.

I like my job and I find that most kids are respectful. The ones who aren't can usually be managed with the tools we have available to help us bring them around. But I have seen, with my own eyes, the differences between the ways women and men teachers are perceived and treated, and there is a difference.