I watched Garden State again recently. Wonderful movie. There's a song in it, by Colin Hay, that just freaking tears me up. You have to hear him sing it to really get it, but the lyrics alone are enough to throw me into a fit of sorrow:
I drink good coffee every morning
Comes from a place that's far away
And when I'm done I feel like talking
Without you here there is less to say.
I don't want you thinking I'm unhappy
What is closer to the truth
That if I lived till I was 102
I just don't think I'll ever get over you.
I'm no longer moved to drink strong whisky
'Cause I shook the hand of time and I knew
That if I lived till I could no longer climb my stairs
I just don't think I'll ever get over you.
Your face it dances and it haunts me
Your laughter's still ringing in my ears
I still find pieces of your presence here
Even after all these years.
But I don't want you thinking I don't get asked to dinner
'Cause I'm here to say that I sometimes do
Even though I may soon feel the touch of love
I just don't think I'll ever get over you.
If I lived till I was 102
I just don't think I'll ever get over you.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Circle of Life
My 86-year-old mom is very ill as I write this. Her heart is failing, but she hangs on to life. She told me yesterday she's not afraid to die. It's complicated to have a conversation with someone who knows the end of life is near, and when it's your mother, it becomes even more complicated. I think of myself as a person who's quite straightforward emotionally, yet I catch myself wanting to contradict her when she talks about her death. I come so close to saying things like, "You're a strong woman, Mom, you will be around for quite awhile." But I don't, because we both know that would be dishonest. And I wonder how it feels to be her, to be in the place where people no longer say those things.
I'm a great aunt again too, and my brother Steve is a grandpa! My little brother Steve! Anna Ruth was born today. She's named after my mother. I wonder if, when my mom sees a picture of her, she will think this baby Anna was born to take her place on Earth.
Little Anna's got some big shoes to fill.
I'm a great aunt again too, and my brother Steve is a grandpa! My little brother Steve! Anna Ruth was born today. She's named after my mother. I wonder if, when my mom sees a picture of her, she will think this baby Anna was born to take her place on Earth.
Little Anna's got some big shoes to fill.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
I'm That Guy
I just finished watching "Sideways," (She's just now seeing Sideways? Yup.) and guess what? I'm Miles! Yes, everyone seeing a movie tends to identify with a character, that's what we're supposed to do if the writing's any good, but boy, did I get this guy. He's kind of pathetic, in a much-cuter-than-I-am sort of way, but I get him.
Okay, so I'm not a wine geek, I don't vacillate between tasting and guzzling, I don't steal money from my mother on her birthday. But I forgot, yes, FORGOT my mother's 86th birthday today. She's been on my mind so much lately, I've been talking to her on the phone a lot because her health is failing, and I call often to check in. Don't ask me how I forgot the birthday, just did. Freud would have a field day.
I also haven't had a novel rejected three times. Only because I haven't written one.
I teach English, though, and I can definitely relate to feeling that sometimes, no matter how hard I try to walk a reasonably straight line, mind myself so as not to get into trouble, treat people with decency and respect, and do the right damn thing, life just goes.......Sideways.
Okay, so I'm not a wine geek, I don't vacillate between tasting and guzzling, I don't steal money from my mother on her birthday. But I forgot, yes, FORGOT my mother's 86th birthday today. She's been on my mind so much lately, I've been talking to her on the phone a lot because her health is failing, and I call often to check in. Don't ask me how I forgot the birthday, just did. Freud would have a field day.
I also haven't had a novel rejected three times. Only because I haven't written one.
I teach English, though, and I can definitely relate to feeling that sometimes, no matter how hard I try to walk a reasonably straight line, mind myself so as not to get into trouble, treat people with decency and respect, and do the right damn thing, life just goes.......Sideways.
Monday, January 16, 2006
What a world
Remember when it was cool to be "wired"?
There is an interesting article in today's Washington Post about the ways we control the demands that communication technology places on our lives. Interviewing several people, most them far more "connected" than I am, the writer discovered the various, quirky rules people impose to control the demands this technology places on their lives. One man said he takes no communication devices onto the golf course; another woman said she stopped taking her Blackberry to bed after it caused a relationship with a boyfriend to break apart. I thought, "Good grief!" A researcher calls the seemingly irrational rules we make for using these gadgets a "neo-Amish pattern. " In the same way that the Amish have very specific and, in the view of many outsiders, very inconsistent rules for using modern conveniences, the rest of us have developed rules for using digital media.
Then, I realized I have some similar rules of my own:
I don't do personal email from work.
I have voice messaging and caller id on my line at home, and I use it. I don't pick up when it isn't convenient, or when I don't feel like talking. Even calls from friends. And it makes me feel a little selfish, at times.
I had call waiting 15 years ago, when my daughter was a teenager. Being a vigilant mom, I never wanted to miss a call from her for any reason, but after she left the house I got rid of it. The last thing I want to do is juggle two calls when the service will take a message.
I have a cell phone, but it's one of those pay-as-you-go jobs. I rarely use it when I'm not traveling, and mostly as an emergency phone.
I don't have a laptop, a Blackberry, an i-pod, or a Treo. I've never sent a text message or taken a picture with a cell phone. I don't walk around with any kind of plugs in my ears. I have to admit, my budget has kept me from buying and using any of those gadgets, but I think that may be a good thing.
I do spend my fair share of time at home on the internet, and within the past year I switched to DSL because I got tired of receiving phone messages that said, "You must be on the internet again..." even when I was out living a real, rather than virtual life. So I'm not claiming any high ground here.
We all mitigate the demands of these technologies in various ways. I am fortunate I don't have a job that asks me to be on call at all times. I do my share of work at home, but it's a solitary endeavor that doesn't ask me to be in touch with anyone but myself when I do it. I live alone, no spouse, no kids, no need to negotiate the ins and outs of their technology wants or needs. I only deal with my own standards when it comes to this stuff. I'm lucky.
Have you imposed any rules on yourself regarding your use of technology? Do tell!
There is an interesting article in today's Washington Post about the ways we control the demands that communication technology places on our lives. Interviewing several people, most them far more "connected" than I am, the writer discovered the various, quirky rules people impose to control the demands this technology places on their lives. One man said he takes no communication devices onto the golf course; another woman said she stopped taking her Blackberry to bed after it caused a relationship with a boyfriend to break apart. I thought, "Good grief!" A researcher calls the seemingly irrational rules we make for using these gadgets a "neo-Amish pattern. " In the same way that the Amish have very specific and, in the view of many outsiders, very inconsistent rules for using modern conveniences, the rest of us have developed rules for using digital media.
Then, I realized I have some similar rules of my own:
I don't do personal email from work.
I have voice messaging and caller id on my line at home, and I use it. I don't pick up when it isn't convenient, or when I don't feel like talking. Even calls from friends. And it makes me feel a little selfish, at times.
I had call waiting 15 years ago, when my daughter was a teenager. Being a vigilant mom, I never wanted to miss a call from her for any reason, but after she left the house I got rid of it. The last thing I want to do is juggle two calls when the service will take a message.
I have a cell phone, but it's one of those pay-as-you-go jobs. I rarely use it when I'm not traveling, and mostly as an emergency phone.
I don't have a laptop, a Blackberry, an i-pod, or a Treo. I've never sent a text message or taken a picture with a cell phone. I don't walk around with any kind of plugs in my ears. I have to admit, my budget has kept me from buying and using any of those gadgets, but I think that may be a good thing.
I do spend my fair share of time at home on the internet, and within the past year I switched to DSL because I got tired of receiving phone messages that said, "You must be on the internet again..." even when I was out living a real, rather than virtual life. So I'm not claiming any high ground here.
We all mitigate the demands of these technologies in various ways. I am fortunate I don't have a job that asks me to be on call at all times. I do my share of work at home, but it's a solitary endeavor that doesn't ask me to be in touch with anyone but myself when I do it. I live alone, no spouse, no kids, no need to negotiate the ins and outs of their technology wants or needs. I only deal with my own standards when it comes to this stuff. I'm lucky.
Have you imposed any rules on yourself regarding your use of technology? Do tell!
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Stare Decisis
I was watching the Alito hearings on C-span and the repetition of this term with regard to precedent in law suddenly had me singing the following ( in my head anyway), to the tune of Don McLean's "Vincent."
Stare, stare decisis
Paint your questions blue and grey
Alito's never gonna say
He longs to get his hands on Roe v. Wade...
It must be the cold medicine.
Stare, stare decisis
Paint your questions blue and grey
Alito's never gonna say
He longs to get his hands on Roe v. Wade...
It must be the cold medicine.
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Blawked
I haven't died or crawled under a rock (yet), I've just stopped blogging for awhile. I think I'm blocked.
I'm coming down with a cold. The second one this season. This almost never happens, as I usually have one per school year. And I had it. Last month.
My students are behaving nicely. They are discussing, responding, listening, reading, writing, working, and learning (I hope!).
My mom's health is failing, and that's bumming me out.
The sun has actually shown its sweet face for two entire days in a row!
My love life is completely down the tubes. Unless we count my crush on Cesar Chavez. Which doesn't seem to be working out, as he's deceased.
My daughter is a healthy, happy, productive member of society.
My hair is stupid.
I have funny, warm, smart, loving, and tolerant friends.
That's the long and the short of it. The good and the bad. Upside downside. Pleasure and pain.
I, like the Democrats, will be back. Stronger and wiser.
With any luck at all.
I'm coming down with a cold. The second one this season. This almost never happens, as I usually have one per school year. And I had it. Last month.
My students are behaving nicely. They are discussing, responding, listening, reading, writing, working, and learning (I hope!).
My mom's health is failing, and that's bumming me out.
The sun has actually shown its sweet face for two entire days in a row!
My love life is completely down the tubes. Unless we count my crush on Cesar Chavez. Which doesn't seem to be working out, as he's deceased.
My daughter is a healthy, happy, productive member of society.
My hair is stupid.
I have funny, warm, smart, loving, and tolerant friends.
That's the long and the short of it. The good and the bad. Upside downside. Pleasure and pain.
I, like the Democrats, will be back. Stronger and wiser.
With any luck at all.
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